The Most Intimate Connection

You and I are, at this moment, as intimately connected as two human beings can ever be.

What? You’re deluded, dude. We don’t even know each other!

That’s quite probably true. Nevertheless, the connection we have, which you can sever at any moment you choose, is more intimate than any other connection you can have as long as you continue it.

How is that possible?

Right now, I am inside of your mind. My voice is as you choose to hear it, but you do hear it. It’s inside your brain right now. As long as you leave it there, I am as deeply inside of you as it is possible to be. A sexual connection is an exterior one. Some part of my body would be connected with or, depending on how bizarre you’re getting, to, your body. That’s going on outside of you. You may be allowing all sorts of parts of me to enter into your brain, because of that physical connection, and that would be lovely, but at this moment, I exist only and completely in your mind. If there is a deeper part of you, I don’t know what it is.

What about the Soul? That’s deeper than my brain.

I’m not entirely sure what a soul is. Are you? Descartes, and, subsequently The Police, called it “The Ghost in The Machine.” The idea is that there is some You that exists independent of your physical body. It’s what makes movies like Freaky Friday possible. What ever it is that is Me gets transferred into the body of another person. In other words, whatever it is that makes me, Me, is movable. It exists.

The problem, of course, is that I can’t point to it. I can’t show you what that part looks like. I’ve never seen it. It’s been said, although I don’t know that the evidence is sufficiently compelling, that when one dies, the body becomes something like 7 grams lighter. This is supposed to be the Soul leaving the body. There are even those who claim to have captured the event on a video. I have no idea whether that’s even true. For the sake of argument, however, I’ll assume it is.

If there’s a soul, it is influenced by the brain. The brain I can show you. I know that exists. And it’s because you have one that you can be connected with me in this way. Absent a brain, you would be unable to read, to think, to control your body, to have an awareness of your own existence. The brain is the whole ball game when determining who you are.

And that’s the part to which I’m connecting right now.

When you’re reading, you experience events, emotions, sights, sounds, and often even tastes and smells that are not exterior. You can absolutely experience physical sensations you wouldn’t have felt without the words that are coming into your brain to tell it what they are. This is deeper than simple contact. It is entirely willing. Consent is not an issue because all you need do is look away from the words and you have severed our connection. Because of that, I will also argue that it’s not only the most intimate connection possible, but the most valuable. If it weren’t of some value, you would end it at once. But, when it makes you think, or feel, or experience something you want, it has power that no other connection has.

Okay… Yeah… That’s kind of cool. But what about my connection to you? You’re inside my brain, but I’m not inside yours. If it were physical it would also be mutual. Here’s it’s one sided. Where’s the intimacy in that?

I am more closely connected to Shakespeare, Salinger, Harper Lee, and Aaron Sorkin than I ever was to either of my ex – wives, and none of those people ever heard of me. Shakespeare was dead more than 340 years before I was even a twinkle in Dad’s eye. But, they put their words into the ether for me to consume at will, just as I am putting my words into the world for you to read whenever you wish. They are giving themselves willingly to me. I am giving myself willingly to you. It is both consensual and mutual. It’s intimate.

And, to be honest, you do exist in my brain. I have no idea who you are. I don’t know if you’re male or female, I don’t know how old you are, and I have no clue what you look like. But I am giving the deepest part of me to you. How much more intimately can we be connected?

So… what… are we dating now?

That’s entirely up to you. You can read my words whenever you want me inside you. I have these, and I have lots of others that are there for you whenever you want them. I have my thought of you, The Gentle Reader, and I can talk to you whenever I wish. That said, I’m a writer, which means I’m broke. If we’re going to dinner, you’re buying.

Half an Hour a Week

I know many of my friends are not regular readers. I understand that. The world is filled with excitement, and we are led into YouTube and Netflix, or out into the world where there are people. I envy those of you who can deal with people. They all scare the hell out of me. But, reading is something you just don’t have the time to do. I get that.

I’m advocating that you find 30 minutes, once a week, probably on Friday night, and just read… anything!

I’m not delivering a teacher’s pitch for Reading. I couldn’t possibly care less what scores you will ever make on any reading test. They mean next to nothing. And they’re certainly not why anyone reads.

My roommates are all but incessant readers. One of them, in fact, reads semi-professionally. I think this is why we can live together. I think it’s why, as well as anyone is likely to, they understand me. They read very different things from what I read, but that makes no difference. They read. They experience other people’s lives.

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies… The man who never reads lives only one.”


―George R.R. Martin, Dance with Dragons

Why read? Mr. Martin just gave you the best reason. We are here for an extraordinarily short time. We have just the one life, at least on Earth. I’m not getting into the possibilities for Afterlife here. This isn’t the time. But, readers get to have experiences that others don’t. A good writer will take you wherever she needs you to go, and will fill you with thoughts and feelings you will never experience any other way.

There are other reasons, of course. Yes, it’s going to make you smarter, even if I don’t like what you read. I don’t think most of us care about that, though. I wish more of us did. It will also make you more empathetic. (There’s an entire essay on my blog about the value of Empathy, so I will say here only that I believe Empathy makes you more human.) But, if nothing else, it provides you some quiet time with just your thoughts and those of your author of choice.

With all of that in mind, I’m going to be posting on my Blog, once a week, probably on Friday. And I promise I will never take all 30 of your minutes. I’ll never ask for more than half of them. I will rarely ask for more than five of them.

But, even if you don’t give me the time, please give it to yourself. Just 30 minutes a week is enough for most of us. If you don’t enjoy it, you’re reading the wrong book, or the wrong essay, or the wrong poem. Pick another. I suspect, if you do this, you’ll find out what we readers already know. There is nothing more wonderful than reading.

“I have sometimes dreamt … that when the Day of Judgment dawns and the great conquerors and lawyers and statesmen come to receive their rewards — their crowns, their laurels, their names carved indelibly upon imperishable marble — the Almighty will turn to Peter and will say, not without a certain envy when He sees us coming with our books under our arms, ‘Look, these need no reward. We have nothing to give them here. They have loved reading.’ ”


―Virginia Woolf, The Second Common Reader