I was surprised that Microsoft Word didn’t underline my title.  I thought it was a term only a few people know.  Evidently it has become enough of a part of the lexicon that it is accepted by software.  That’s a certain sign of acceptance. 

The word was coined by Berkeley Breathed on my 20^th birthday in a wonderful Bloom County comic strip.  I would love to reproduce it for you here, but you know I’ll never get by with that.  You’ll have to deal with my description of it.

A large group of people at a bus stop are complaining about the things that offend them.  These include penguins, dirty words, polish jokes, stereotypes, TV sex, a sign, being offended by the sign, nudes, gay people, the comic itself, and finally, life.  Opus the Penguin is left alone on the bench, and he says, “Offensensitivity.” 

Acceptance seems to be a problem for many of us.  We seem to have a difficult time handling ideas that differ from ours.  This was illustrated graphically for me this morning when one of The People On The Porch was offended by a meme I posted concerning Ten Non-Commandments.  I happened to see it on someone else’s page, and I like the ideas in it.  I recently offended someone else with my essay “Unwarranted Selfishness.”  Wanting to avoid offending anyone with my words, I went for what I thought were inoffensive memes.  I was mistaken.  The 10 Non-Commandments Meme offends some people.

A Google search reveals it’s become a standard part of Atheism.  Be prepared to be offended:  I’m an Atheist.  If you’re just finding that out, this is either the first episode you’ve ever heard of this show, or you’ve been sleeping through the others.  So, it’s hardly a surprise I found these ideas line up with mine.  Here they are:

1. Be open-minded and be willing to alter your beliefs with new evidence.
2. Strive to understand what is most likely to be true, not to believe what you wish to be true.
3. The scientific method is the most reliable way of understanding the natural world.
4. Every person has the right to control their body.
5. God is not necessary to be a good person or to live a full and meaningful life.
6. Be mindful of the consequences of all your actions and recognize that you must take responsibility for them.
7. Treat others as you would want them to treat you, and can reasonably expect them to want to be treated. Think about their perspective.
8. We have the responsibility to consider others, including future generations.
9. There is no one right way to live.
10. Leave the world a better place than you found it.

— https://carm.org/atheism/atheist-ten-commandments/

These are all, in my view, excellent proposals.  At no point do they suggest that disagreeing with them makes someone stupid, or intolerant, or even wrong.  They are specifically NOT Commandments; they are ideas, they are recommendations.  That’s it.

That offended someone.  He saw it as an attack on Judeo-Christian beliefs.  It really isn’t. 

This set off much discussion on my page, and it turns out no one else found anything offensive in them.  I was surprised this person did, because I have always known him to be tolerant of differences.  I have to wonder if something else happened and these were simply a trigger. 

There seems to be something virtuous in being offended.  Nearly everyone likes to jump on that train.  The latest cause of offense is Drag Queens. 

The idea that someone wearing clothing often considered to be most appropriate for the opposite gender might read a book to children is deeply offensive to some people.  I suppose they make the unwarranted assumption that there is something overtly sexual about this act.  There isn’t.  It’s a form of Art. 

Perhaps you don’t enjoy that form of Art.  I can understand that.  I don’t enjoy rap, and there is precious little country music I like.  I’m not a fan of Jackson Pollock either.  I am completely content for anyone else to like these things, though.  It’s not hurting me.  I probably wouldn’t recommend taking your 5-year-old to an Eminem concert, but as it turns out, I’m not the child’s parent.  You are.  I won’t substitute my judgment about what is best for your child for yours.  Even I am not that arrogant.  Your child; your call. 

I’ve seen people asking WHY Drag Queens WANT to read stories to children.  They seem to be implying Drag Queens are pedophiles.  Here’s the thing:  I read stories to children for most of my life.  I promise I’m not a pedophile.  I’ve known hundreds of other teachers who also read to children.  They weren’t pedophiles, either.  There are, oddly enough, other reasons one might want to read a book to a child.  I’ve been begging my best friend to get around to getting married and becoming a mother because I desperately want to read Dr. Seuss to her kids before I expire.  Perhaps I want to be part of the reason they learn to love to read.  Perhaps I enjoy watching their expressions as they experience Green Eggs and Ham. 

The advantage of Drag Queen Story Hour is that it allows children to learn something at least as important as what they learn from the books.  They learn people can be different from us and still be nice people. 

Interestingly, while so many people were busy being offended by Drag Queens without a single scrap of evidence that they present a danger to children, I posted this article on my page.  Only 3 of my 2,378 Facebook friends had any reaction to it.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/maryland-ag-documents-widespread-sexual-abuse-least-600-victims-baltim-rcna78378

The article on my page was from a Baltimore newspaper, but now they’re calling it Subscriber Only Content, so I’m using NBC.  It’s the same set of facts. 

The Maryland Attorney General’s Office released a report of more than 600 cases of child sex abuse within the Catholic Church.  I heard nothing about anyone being offended by this. 

“Time and again, members of the Church’s hierarchy resolutely refused to acknowledge allegations of child sexual abuse for as long as possible,” according to the report.

“When denial became impossible, Church leadership would remove abusers from the parish or school, sometimes with promises that they would have no further contact with children. Church documents reveal with disturbing clarity that the Archdiocese was more concerned with avoiding scandal and negative publicity than it was with protecting children.”

If we’re going to bother to be offended, let’s choose things that are truly offensive.  This isn’t close to the first time the Catholic Church has been involved in these obscenities.  We began hearing about it decades ago.  Priests, however, get a free pass because we really need to be worried about Drag Queens. 

This isn’t the only case of misplaced needs to feel offended.  Books are being banned left and right.  And while the First Amendment protects our right to freedom of speech, of which books are an excellent example, the thought that children might encounter a thought some parent, somewhere, doesn’t like is cause for pulling To Kill a Mockingbird off the shelf along with dozens of other great pieces of literature.  Zero children have been killed by books. 

If, on the other hand, anyone wants to discuss enacting some form of control over the guns that have become the number one cause of death for children, we will hear screams of “But the Second Amendment!!!”  The Constitution applies selectively, at best, for some people. 

When three Tennessee lawmakers participated in a protest about guns following yet another mass shooting in Nashville, they were ousted from the floor for “disorderly behavior.”  Two of the three, both Black people, were expelled. 

https://www.politico.com/news/2023/04/06/tennessee-house-expulsion-vote-lawmakers-00090829

The obvious racism doesn’t offend you?

The final example of absurd offense being taken is almost unbelievable.  Michelangelo’s Statue of David got a principal fired. She allowed a photograph of one of the most beautiful works of Art ever created to be shown in her school. 

What’s so offensive?  I assume it’s that one can see David’s penis.  Breaking News: something in the vicinity of half of the population of the world has one of these.  I promise your father had one.  It’s not exactly a State Secret.

While we get offended by this, we’re fine with even Disney movies showing people dying.  Find me a cop show that doesn’t show people getting shot.  If we show the love that is the beginning of life, it’s considered pornography, and it’s among the most offensive things we can portray.  We ignore the fact that children are shivering in the streets tonight, and we find reasons not to be offended by that.  We convince ourselves that somehow “they deserve it.” 

Let’s guide ourselves, once again, with that vitally important question: “Who’s better off?”

Who’s better off for denying children the opportunity to see a great work of Art, read a great book, or see an artist reading to children?  Who’s better off for getting angry with me for having beliefs that differ from theirs?  For me, the answer to all these questions is no one.

Who’s better off for enacting some control over who gets the types of guns that kill children?  Well, for one, any child who doesn’t get shot who would have otherwise.  Who’s better off for stopping the Catholic Church from abusing children?  I would say, at the least, the children spared that torture.  I don’t think it’s too wild a leap of the imagination to suggest their loved ones are better off too.  Their child didn’t get shot or sexually abused.  It’s a fair bet stopping the sexual abuse can help to stop future sexual abuse by those who were abused. 

I promise it is never my intention to offend anyone.  If you choose to be offended, I’m sorry you feel that way.  If I’m going to be a writer, I have to be authentic.  Anything less is a disservice to myself and to the world. 

I know people who live to offend.  They take pleasure in it.  They make a living being offensive.  That’s not who I am, nor is it who I wish to be.  I can’t, however, avoid offending anyone ever.  I don’t intend to try.

I’m going to choose more carefully what will offend me.  I hope you’ll do the same.